When someone you know has been affected or accused of sexual misconduct it can be scary. In times of distress, individuals are likely to turn to friends, family, and those around them they trust for support.

As family and friends, there are many ways in which you can be supportive during this difficult time.

Here are some ways to offer support:

Listen. Be fully present during the conversation, putting away anything distracting like cell phones. Listening often involves silence, if you are truly listening then you will not be worrying about what you should say. Recognize everyone responds to situations differently. The person may laugh, cry, seem distant, etc. Allow them to express and tell you however they are most comfortable, free from judgement.

• If you are an employee who is a mandatory reporter. The best thing you can do is let the person know you are required to report their disclosure to the proper individuals.
  • Reassuring them they are not in trouble.
  • Let them know that reporting ensures they receive the care and resources they need.
  • Ask them if they have a preference on how you share the information.
  • Remember you can report to the Title IX Office in person, over the phone, online through Eagles 360 (employees), online reporting form (non-employees) and/or via email.

Honor Confidentiality. Don’t share information disclosed to you, except to those you may be responsible for reporting the information to. It is their story to tell, when they want, how they want.

• If you are a mandatory reporter. Be sure to tell them exactly what you are going to disclose and who you are going to disclose it to. Let them know they will likely receive some sort of communication from Title IX with information about resources and options, and that they are not obligated to respond to Title IX.

Validate Their Feelings. By acknowledging the distress, they must feel. It’s ok to use the words they used when describing the situation. Resist the temptation to encourage the person to look at the bright side or make a comment about how it could have been worse. Keep in mind at this moment this is the worst for them. You can acknowledge the strength it took for them to share the information.

Offer Support. Let them know you are here for them. But know your own limitations. Support does not mean fixing the problem, it means being there for them.

Discuss Safety. Ask them if they are feeling safe. If they are in imminent danger, call the police and get help right away. If they are not in imminent danger but feel unsafe, inform them to contact the appropriate college officials who can assist. This includes, Title IX Office, Campus Security, Housing Department, Office of Student Affairs.

Connect Them to Resources. This will allow them to get the help they need. If you are not sure what resources are available, ask college staff.

Learn the Process. So that you know what they will be going through. You can ask questions they may not have considered.

Support Yourself. Trauma responses can often be felt by those close to the individual. Recognize you may experience some symptoms. Care for yourself during this time by talking to a mental healthcare provider, taking care of your physical health by exercising, eating well, and getting enough sleep.